Ok so this happened to me last night and in all honesty it's quite hysterical....granted there are going to be those people that are going to be like, "I can't believe she put that on her blog!" but seriously, if you can't make fun of yourself then what's the point.
Last night, Gan graciously offered to keep Knox overnight. So Slade and I go to dinner and then come back to relax a little bit and then hit the sack. We are so excited about a whole night sleep with no monitors or anything. Slade passes out but I can't sleep, so I decided to download an audiobook on my phone so I can "read" without waking Slade up. I decide to download Lauren Conrad's new book. Yes, I realize that the target demographic for this "novel" is a 13 yr old girl but I must admit I love stuff like this! Seriously, if it is meant for a tween, I am all about it. Harry Potter, WB tv shows, Twilight...Yes please!
So I am having to try to look for the book and download it under the covers because I don't want the light from my phone to wake Slade on his one night off. I find the book on the best sellers list and hit download...I notice it was only $5.99 but just thought dang that's cheap! I wait for it to download and then when I see it's finished, I go to downloads on my phone and just skip to the last one and hit play. Keep in mind this is all done only seeing about half the screen because the phone is under the covers. The book starts....the first thing I realize is that the writing is REALLY bad! I was like dang LC, whoever your ghost writer is did a horrible job! Then I notice that the story line is not AT ALL what I thought it would be, but I decided that maybe I didn't remember the first book as well as I thought. The next thing I notice are the choice words being used. I am thinking to myself that I don't feel this is appropriate for a 27 yr old much less a tween!! Next, it gets SCANDELOUS! By this point, I am like this is not the book I ordered, so I look down at my phone only to realize that I must have hit the wrong book because I am listening to a book of EROTIC SHORT STORIES!!!!!! OH. MY. GOSH. I am MORTIFIED. I didn't even know they made audio erotica!!! and why is it on the best seller list!!?!?? SO then I am like..holy moly..what if Slade wakes up and hears this!!! He is going to think I am a freak!! This thought makes me laugh...really hard. At midnight, I am laying in bed, burying my head in the pillow trying mute my hysterical laughter.
I didn't have time this morning to hook my phone up to my comp to delete this "book" if you can even call it that, so I was paranoid during all my errands that somehow my phone would start playing and everyone could hear it or see it on there. I know this is impossible, but still. I called Slade to tell him about the debacle and he is dying laughing at me and the only thing he says is..."so, is it still on there??
He was only kidding but SUCH a boy response!
Dear Lindsey, That was funny! But just so you'll know you're not alone in reading the tween books - I'm reading one now about Percy Jackson & The Olympians. I saw it was coming out as a movie this month. Not as good as Harry Potter or Twilight though. I'll have to check out Lauren Conrad. But I think I'll try to avoid the other one!
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